Why You Should Let Your Adult Children Make Mistakes
One of the challenges of parenting as our children grow older is trying to find a balance between being more hands-off and still being helpful. I created a YouTube Short which explores my own challenges as a parent regarding that balance, and how I try to approach it with my four adult kids.
No Perfect Way to Raise a Child
Sure, there is no perfect way to raise a child and no perfect way to have a family. And yet we both expect it of ourselves and each other. I want to challenge us in letting them make their own choices, to let them make their own mistakes (or learn from their own mistakes) and to trust that ultimately, they will be just fine. Because as parents, we aren't supposed to build our children's lives for them - we are supposed to give them the tools, time and space to grow into the person they are meant to be.
What if we let our adult children make mistakes and the importance of allowing your children to have their own life, their own experiences, and to make their own mistakes. Let's face it, we've all made mistakes in our lives. And the only way to learn from those mistakes & to not repeat them is by making mistakes! Am I right?!?!
I think we hold on to tightly two things:
1. We want control
2. We want to fix the problem
We want to tell our adult children don't do this and don't do that. And yet we don't let them just be adults because we know what is right. We know what to do. We've got it all figured out and I'm learning that we have to let them go and let them make their decisions, right or wrong, whether we like them or not. That's the way they learn. That's the way they can build their own relationship with Christ.
The Goal of Parenting
Here's the deal - if we loosen our grip, guess what? They become more dependent on God and not on us. And at the end of the day isn't that what we want? Isn't that the goal of parenting? Is that we raise up our children for 18 years and then we give them back to God and we pray that if anything, through their own trials and through their own tribulation, they will begin to have a relationship with Christ because they know who to go to?
